


Street Of Dreams

by stuckyinlove



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Dorks in Love, M/M, clint barton is a big hunger games fan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 11:50:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5625586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuckyinlove/pseuds/stuckyinlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a disastrous end of school year, Bucky Barnes has been sent to a summer camp where he's supposed to be away from his friends and learn something about his life and responsabilities.  Instead he meets Steve Rogers who made a list of things he wants to do this summer along with many other new friends and has summer of his life.</p><p>-</p><p>“So, uh,” he ran his eyes across the list, “you wanna make some more friends, have fun, get drunk, stay up all night, go skinny dipping, go to a party, smoke, kiss, make out, have sex, watch the sunrise, fall in love.. Seriously?”</p><p> </p><p>Steve gave him a shy smile, “I wanted to do fun things kids do this summer.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stevie, we'll do all of these this summer. I mean what you want to do with me. Even, uh,” he smirked, “sing karaoke at 3 am.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Street Of Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> So this is what I've been writing for a month now. Avengers and their friends in a summer camp written from Bucky's perspective. 
> 
> The title is from a song "Street Of Dreams" by Guns n' Roses.
> 
> If you have any questions or remarks, I also have tumblr, it's http://avengeyourbucky.tumblr.com/ and thank you for reading this. :)

After a disastrous end of school year, Bucky Barnes has been sent to a summer camp where he's supposed to be away from his friends and learn something about his life and responsabilities.

 

It wasn't that disastrous but his parents didn't really care all that much about what he had thought about not getting into their dream college.

 

So now, here he is, after his father's driver left him, standing in front of a ridicolous summer camp full of screaming, giggly and loud teenagers between age of 14 and 18. _God, he was one of them. Is. Still is._

 

If this was his parents' way of making him hate the type of people he is usually associated with, then bam, they already did it, _can he please go home now? Or somewhere? Anywhere?_

 

Bucky inhaled some fresh air, shook his head, ran his long fingers through short, brown hair and started looking for his bag. _Help me, dear Lord, and give me strenght,_ he thought.

 

After he spotted his bag, he managed to get it from a pile full of other bags and rested his hands on his hips. _God, this was going to be a long summer._

 

"Watch it," some blonde, disgustingly cute short, scrawny guy shouted as ball hit Bucky's head.

 

"What in the fucking hell did you just do, you inconsiderate punk," Bucky spat and vigorously made his way towards blonde.

 

"Excuse you, eyeliner guy" A redhead appeared out of nowhere, "Don't you dare approach Steve. Our friend here," she waved her hand at another blonde guy, this one with Katniss Everdeen shirt on, "Clint just wanted to see if you could catch. We were looking for someone to play soccer with us."

 

"Why would I need to catch to play soccer?"Bucky raised his eyebrow and glanced at this random set of people.

 

"Now, I'm afraid we had a little misunderstanding here," girl with brown wavy hair appeared from his left and spoke in thick British accent, "Football, soccer.. Americans."

 

"Oh," Bucky smirked, "Bucky Barnes."

 

They all introduced themselves, redhead was Natasha, British girl was Peggy, blonde he first spoke to was Steve.

 

Bucky considered giving a chance to this camp after all. They played soccer and Bucky's team lost but it was worth it when he saw Steve giving him a big, dumb proudly smile and Clint crushing them all in a big hug.

 

-

 

They all had a group meeting with director Fury and Bucky made a mental note to never disobey Fury's rules, man looked like he could kill him.

 

After a meeting, Bucky finally went to his room and unpacked. He shared it with two other boys, nerdy Bruce Banner who didn't speak much and Thor, a Norwegian guy with strange choosing of words.

 

"My dear friend," because apparently that's what they now were, "We shall join the rest for a meal."

 

Thor suggested and they made their way to dining room, followed by Bruce with his head in a science magazine.

 

First group Bucky noticed was the one from earlier that day: Clint was chanting in the name of pizza and with another Hunger games t-shirt on and Steve awkwardly waved at him.

 

Three boys joined them on a big table and Bucky sat himself next to Steve.

 

"What are we eating?" Bucky asked in low voice and Steve rolled his eyes at Clint, so Bucky whispered, "Ah, right."

 

"What, not a fan of pizza?" guy next to Steve with offended gaze stared at Bucky, "Sam Wilson, by the way."

 

"Bucky Barnes."

 

"I know," Sam said as if that was some sort of inside joke and Steve blushed. Bucky noticed then that he liked this blushing blonde already.

 

If this was what Bucky's summer was going to look like, _maybe_ he won't mind that much. If these people were willing to accept guy with black eyeliner, lots of black clothes and self-deprecating jokes then he can learn to accept them.

 

-

 

Next morning Bucky's first thought was a simple question, _why the fuck_ didn't anyone tell him he'd have to be waking up at 8 am all summer long? Wasn't that kind of thing supposed to be in the brochure, along with _"super fun summer activities_ " and " _good time is guaranteed"._

 

Now, don't get him wrong, waking up early sure has its perks, but Bucky wouldn't mind one bit if mornings started a little later.

 

So he rolled off, grunted at poor Bruce and Thor and after finally being the one to use the bathroom, he went outside the camp to see what they were doing. He had no idea if they had planned activities or they could do whatever.

 

He'd like whatever.

 

But when he first stepped outside and Steve Rogers ran up to him with big, dorky smile an excitedly told him they will sit next to lake and maybe swim, Bucky decided he liked this place.

 

He watched as Steve drew on his little sketchpad and Natasha and Clint were jumping into the water as the rest of the group made small talk. The sun shined and everyone was smiling and cracking jokes and Bucky hasn't felt like that in such a long time. And this was only his second day here.

 

-

 

On their third day here, Steve got himself into a fight with some kid named Tony Stark and Bucky happened to be there just in the right moment to punch Stark in face. He had a nice swing, Tony's lip had been split in half and the moment Bucky looked back at Steve and saw his face look at him like he's some kind of hero, he knew it was worth it.

 

But then director Fury called all three of them to his office and made them tell what's happened in the first place.

 

Problem was, Bucky had no idea what happened and why Steve and Stark got in the fight. All he saw was Steve and Tony angrily staring at each other with clenched fists.

 

“Dare to explain yourselves, kids?” Fury asked and room broke into the silence again. He scared the shit out of Bucky with his eye patch and hoarse voice.

 

“I, uh, Steve, he was, kind of... I don't know,” Bucky cried and stared at his hand clasped on his knees, “I assumed he needed my help so I hit him.”

 

“ _Oh_ ,” was all Steve said before he blushed, “Tony said something offensive about girls.”

 

“So what? You ain’t gotta stand up for everyone,” Tony hissed and looked back at director Fury, “and this asshole hit me,” he pointed at Bucky.

 

“You're all 18 year old boys,” Fury disappointedly stared at them, “Do I have to make you shake hands and apologize? Or ship you all back home?”

 

“Oh, uh, director,” Bucky did best to be charming, “I would like to apologise.”

 

Steve then raised his hand, “I ain’t apologising unless Stark apologises and for the record, 'm not even 18 yet.”

 

He looked ridiculous all deffensive and angry and Bucky couldn't help but affectionately smile at him.

 

“Do I really gotta?” Tony asked in disbelief, “Wow, ‘kay then. Sorry, Rogers. And all the women across the world whom I have offended.”

 

He made a show out of it, but Steve was content with that and he gave his apologies so after quite a talk with Fury and then Phil Coulson, boys were free to go back to their rooms.

 

Bucky was confused and angry at Steve because this punk, this fucking punk with no sense of self preservation got them both into trouble.

 

Before they knew, Tony disappeared and Steve and Bucky were left alone so Bucky bit his lips and inhaled a long breath, gaining up the confidence and reached for Steve's elbow. Steve stared back at him and Bucky rolled his eyes and stared back at this kid.

 

“You know, lets go for an adventure,” Bucky smirked and pointed at trees behind their dorms.

 

“Wow, Buck,” Steve had a moment of doubt, biting the inside of his cheek and then nodded his head and gave him a shy smile.

 

Bucky shrugged and winked at Steve, “Gotta keep it interesting.”

 

Bucky held Steve's elbow and they ran off to the frees and Bucky pointed up for Steve to climb.

 

“What? Seriously?” Steve asked in disbelief but then climbed on one of the branches.

 

Bucky smirked at this kid with most beautiful baby blue eyes he's ever seen and started approaching when he noticed a paper fell out of Steve's back pocket.

 

Steve cried for Bucky to give it back, blushing and looking like a kicked pup, “Buck!”

 

“No, wait,” he raised an eyebrow and carefully opened it, “Ah, a list!”

 

“Bucky, for the love of God, don't embarrass me like that,” Steve pleaded.

 

Bucky climbed on a branch above Steve, who was as red as a tomato, and started reading it. Don't get this wrong, if anyone else did this to Steve, he'd kick them just the way he kicked Tony Stark, but he was curious kid and he'd _never_ mock Steve.

 

“So, uh, to-do list?” Bucky looked down at Steve and smiled at him, “Please, let me read this. We can do it all together.”

 

“Uh, Buck,” Steve cried, “Read it, but don't you dare laugh at me.”

 

“ ‘kay, kiddo.” Bucky laughed, already breaking his promise. “So, uh,” he ran his eyes across the list, “you wanna make some more friends, have fun, get drunk, stay up all night, go skinny dipping, go to a party, smoke, kiss, make out, have sex, watch the sunrise, fall in love.. Seriously?”

 

“Uh, I used to get sick very easily, Bucky,” he gave him a shy smile, “I wanted to do fun things kids do this summer since I've been getting better the past year.”

 

“Stevie, we'll do all of these this summer. I mean what you want to do with me. Even, uh,” he smirked, “sing karaoke at 3 am.”

 

“Buck!” Steve rolled his eyes, “Thank you.”

 

“So, uh,” Bucky's throat suddenly got very tight, “do you have your eyes set on anyone in particular? To do few of these with them...”

 

“Bucky!” Steve cried again and then Bucky decided to give him his paper back and kept silent how he'd happily kiss Steve. He'd do anything with him. Maybe he'd even fall in love with him one day. But he's going to keep that for himself.

 

So Bucky sat himself on a branch next to Steve, rested his head on Steve's skinny shoulder and they stayed like that, in comfortable silence. If only Steve looked at him the way he's been staring at him whole time, Bucky thought.

 

-

 

The first week in this camp was over and all the kids, there were about 50 of them, were supposed to sit in a circle and tell what they think about the place.

 

Natasha said this was really cool, Clint complained about the lack of pizza, but people are cool, Peggy said she loved the place, Thor kept going on about how it's much different than camps in Norway... All in all, first impressions were good.

 

Then, it was Bucky's turn and he stood up, smug smirk on his face as he said, “This is better than I expected.”

 

And it was the truth, he already forgot all about his shitty friends at home who made him to weird things and act like he had something to prove. People here weren't all great, but he'd rather be with them than Brock Rumlow who manipulated him into getting in trouble all the time. No wonder his parents sent him here. He even learned to stand Tony's strange sense of humour.

 

After Bucky, it was Steve's turn and he got up, smiled down at Buck and said, “I like it,” as he stared down, and maybe it was because he was too shy to look up, but Bucky felt his stomach flutter at the idea of Steve liking him, “Made great new friends here and seen again the old ones.”

 

And then it stopped fluttering and started hurting and he had no idea why.

 

-

 

“Wake up, Stevie,” Bucky whispered and leaned above Steve's sleeping body, “I’m taking you on an adventure again.”

 

“Jesus, Barnes,” Tony Stark, with whom Steve shared room, groaned but Steve only sniffed and rolled on the other side, “What time is it.”

 

“Shh, sleep,” he whispered and shook Steve once again.

 

Thank God, Steve woke up before they managed to wake Sam up too, and Sam is a nice guy who always offered Bucky cookies his ma had made for him so Bucky doesn't want to wake him up at 4 am.

 

Steve put on some clothes and Bucky threw a jacket at his face because Steve looked like he'd break any moment and Bucky had a weird feeling that keep this boy safe was his mission.

 

They wordlessly came back up on the tree they've climbed on after the fight with Stark and Bucky softly asked Steve if he had his list with him again. Steve silently nodded and took it out, blushing so Bucky took out his pencil and looked at Steve with a raised eyebrow.

 

"So, you've already made some friends," Bucky said and crossed that one, "I hope we had some fun together, correct me if I'm wrong but adventures are fun," Steve just nodded and blushed so Bucky

crossed that too, "Uh, we'll be staying up all night and watching the sunrise if you don't mind? You can cross those later, too, huh?"

 

"Well, you're invested into fulfilling these more than I am, Buck," Steve looked at him with dorky grin spread all over his face.

 

"Well," Bucky chuckled, "I have gummy bears with me."

 

“Not weird at all, Buck,” Steve jokingly said and jumped off the tree.

 

He looked so adorable under the moonlight and it felt like somebody just kicked Bucky in the gut because this kid, this fucking punk was grinning, a grin that split his face in half and his blonde hair was still sticking up in all directions from sleep and the little light made shadows under his eyes and he had really long eyelashes, if he bat them at Bucky, Bucky'd kill his enemies for him and the worst of all was that Bucky Barnes _had no fucking idea where all of this was coming from_.

 

“I have a silly idea,” Steve raised his finger in the air, “It might be the fact that it's now 4:30 am and you can say no!”

 

“Okay,” Steve looked flushed and yet adorable.

 

Steve started unzipping his jacket off and so Bucky jumped on the ground next to him and they were so close, Bucky could breath in Steve's breath.

 

Steve slowly stepped even closer, God, they were so close, and conspirationally whispered, “Let me draw you."

 

"Wha-" Bucky asked and looked back at Steve who was pulling out a pencil and a sketchbook from inside pocket of his jacket, "Why?"

 

Steve blushed once more, and Bucky silently wondered how far did his blushing go, when he chuckled.

 

Bucky finally nodded his head and backed away a few steps, "Don't you think it's too dark?"

 

"There's enough light," Steve decided and tilted his head, "Go sit back on the tree."

 

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows, but obeyed and climbed back up. Steve walked back and forth until he found a nice spot. He settled there, rolling his sleeves up and smirking at the paper.

 

It was weird, just sitting in a tree and not moving, anxiously trying to stay calm for Steve. After all, he had decided it was worth it, cause Steve was happy and Bucky liked making him happy.

 

It must've passed 2 hours until Steve decided he was finished and Bucky could move and he put his sketchbook and pencil back in his pocket.

 

His legs and back felt stiff and he felt pissed for some reason, cause why would he ever do this, but then Steve approached him and stretched out his hand for Bucky and he took it and jumped on the ground and put his arm around Steve's skinny shoulders, pointing at the sunrise before them.

 

"As I promised, we were up all night and we watched sunrise, so I think it's about time we finally eat those gummy bears," he whispered, because it was too damn silent to speak in normal volume, and let go off Steve.

 

He opened his bag of gummy bears, put a handful in his mouth and offered the rest to Steve, who snorted and shook his head.

 

"You dork," Steve teased but he also had handful of gummy bears in his mouth, so who has he to judge.

 

"You know," Bucky smirked, "I expected you'd show me the drawing."

 

Steve looked up at Bucky as what he was saying was ridiculous, "Why would I do that?"

 

"Maybe, I don't know," Bucky snorted, "because it's me on that drawing."

 

"You'll see it in time," he grabbed a few more gummy bears and laughed and Bucky's stomach flustered again as he was fondly looking back at Steve.

 

The funny thing was that this camp was his parents' punishment for fucking up his senior year and not getting into MIT, which they decided he'd attend when he was 7, and for telling them that he liked boys more than he liked girls and his parents were really homophobic and almost disowned him for that. But the worst thing was, he still loved them. He loved his parents.

 

He still remembers _every word and every insult and every punch_ he'd ever gotten from them and in his eyes, they were still his parents, his fucked up family and he couldn't hate him.

 

He was disgusted by them and he lived for the day when he was old and mature enough and had enough money to live on his own and never need anything from them.

 

But they put him here, in this fucked up camp and he wasn't this happy and content with his life in a long time. It hasn't passed enough time and he knew was acting clingy and getting too attached, but he already knew this is the best thing that could've ever happened to him.

 

-

 

 

"Tony Stark is having a party," Clint said and waved at Tony, who was on the other end of dinning room.

 

Half of the group spit their drinks, and Natasha snorted, "Is he even allowed to do such thing?"

 

Steve leaned in, and everyone followed, even Bucky with dumb smile and eyes fixed on Steve, and they looked like they were plotting something evil, when Steve said, "His father donated shitload of money to the camp so he does stuff."

 

Thor agreed, "My brother and him threw a wild party last summer. Loki is still banned from this place for it."

 

"Didn't know you had a brother," Bucky said and snorted, "What kind of name is Loki anyway."

 

"Says Bucky," Bruce added, "Yeah, they had a party, because Tony has an influent father and Loki does what he wants."

 

"Woah, who'd tell, your brother is quite a rebel," Peggy was just as surprised at Bucky was.

 

"17 kids had their stomach pumped, it was crazy," Natasha joined it, "Well, it was kind of their fault, with being so dumb."

 

"Ah, don't forget," Clint exclaimed, "Bruce and Tony made a potion that got all of them drunk. I mean, what were you thinking?"

 

Bruce looked offended, and Bucky was honestly surprised with this story. He imagined what it looked like and couldn't help snorting at

how ridiculous it must've been.

 

"He's adopted," Thor felt like he had to add, before chewing on a bread stick and the group fell back into silence.

 

-

 

"So, here's your chance to get drunk, Stevie," Bucky nudged Steve with his elbow.

 

"I know," Steve saitd, "Last year I was too sick to even attend the party so they shipped me back home after like 10 days of summer."

 

"So, that sucks."

 

They were sitting on Steve’s bed, their backs leaning on a wall. Steve was reading the fifth Harry Potter book and Bucky just rested his head on Steve's shoulder and listened to him read as the storm was raging outside.

 

It was the compromise since Bucky was too bored on his own and there was no way he could talk Steve into giving up reading. And it was interesting, Harry Potter is a classic.

 

"Can I go back to reading?" Steve asked and Bucky nodded and snuggled back next to Steve.

 

" _The story of Fred and George’s flight to freedom was retold so often over the next few days that Harry could tell it would soon become the stuff of Hogwarts legend._ " Steve read in low voice and all of Bucky's muscles relaxed, " _Within a week, even those who had been eyewitnesses were half-convinced that they had seen the twins dive-bomb Umbridge on their brooms, pelting her with Dungbombs before zooming out of the doors."_

 

"I hate Umbridge," Bucky muttered and Steve shushed him, but nodded in agreement.

 

-

 

 Later, when Tony excitedly came back into their room with a happy grin, he kicked them out because some girl named Pepper was supposed to come over.

 

“I don’t care that you’re cuddling with Barnes. I need both of your asses out,” Tony said as he sprayed himself with deodorant and put a gum in his mouth.

 

“At least he’s not using Axe,” Steve said on Bucky’s ear and snorted.

 

“Rogers, out,” Tony fixed his hair and winked at mirror, “Or I'll tell you who dies at the end.”

 

“No one dies,” Steve yelled, “Shut up!”

 

They rushed out and Bucky hadn’t even noticed he was holding Steve’s hand until they were on a hallway, both out of breath and unnaturally close.

 

“So...” Steve gasped for air and laughed, breaking the silence.

 

Bucky’s laughter followed soon afterwards, “I know.”

 

They both laughed at the ground, and then they’d stop and look back at each other and laugh even louder than the first time.

 

Bucky let go of Steve’s hand and smirked, “How would you feel a bout going outside?”

 

“Pal, I'm kinda afraid rain might ruin your eye liner,” Steve titled his head and snorted, “We don’t wanna that.”

 

“You’re a punk, Rogers.”

 

They instead went to Bucky’s room and Steve read some more and Bucky fell asleep snuggled up with Steve.

 

-

 

It finally arrived Friday night and with it, Tony's big secret party.

 

It really wasn't that secret, almost everyone in the camp knew about it, but the thing was director Fury and all adults couldn't know about it so they called it secret. (Although, one time long after the camp Bucky met Nick Fury somehwere in New York and he admitted him he knew all about their secret parties, but he let kids be kids and kept an eye on them.)

 

Bucky liked this kind of parties and this one party meant he'd get to spend the time with Steve and they'd dance and get drunk together. So maybe it was wishful thinking, but Bucky has developed a crush on that boy, and how could anyone blame him for it? Steve Rogers was the most beautiful person Bucky's ever seen.

 

So Bucky made sure to get this right, he put on a nice navy shirt and black jeans and Thor smirked at him and said, "My friend, you look marvelous in that," and Bruce hummed in agreement.

 

Natasha even noticed how it brings out his eyes, and Bucky has glad.

 

His stomach flopped in excitement as he went in one of the dorms with Thor and Natasha and Bruce and Peggy with him and saw Steve Rogers sitting wit Sam in one of the corners, he had no idea how the hell could Tony Stark pull this off, finding a large dorm and making sure no adults would find out about it, especially considering the last year's events.

 

But he didn't give a damn cause then, Steve smiled, a big, excited smile at their way and Bucky smiled back and rushed to them, to him.

 

Bucky almost sat on a chair next to Steve and then he heard Peggy's adorable giggle behind him, and when he saw Steve look at her, it was like a kick to his balls. It hurt like that.

 

"She's really into him," Sam smiled on the corners of his lips and looked at Bucky.

 

Clint felt the need to join in this conversation or whatever it was with, "Dude, stop frowning. You're being weird."

 

"I ain't," Bucky hissed and glanced at Clint, who finally got out of his Hunger games t-shirts and dressed up nicely, all bow and suit, "Tryna impress Nat?"

 

"Ugh, shut up, Barnes," he ran fingers through his hair and tried to subtly lean and look at Natasha. And he failed miserably, because in some alternate universe Bucky was sure Natasha was a spy, and Natasha actually looked back at Clint and slyly smiled at Clint ran to her direction like an overly excited pup.

 

Tony Stark appeared as soon as Clint left and smirked, "God help him."

 

"I need drink," Bucky muttered and glanced back at Steve and Peggy laughing at some probably dumb joke.

 

"You are pathetic, Barnes," Tony responded but disappeared and after a moment, returned with a cup of some drink, "You disgust me."

 

He patted Bucky on his back and gazed at Steve and Peggy, "Go talk to him."

 

Bucky was about to protest but he literally got kicked out by this smug asshole. After all, he might even like Tony (not that he'd ever admit that).

 

"Huh, buddy," Bucky rubbed his hands at his shirt, "Come with me, won't you?"

 

Peggy glanced at Bucky in surprise and Steve fondly smiled, "Of course, Buck."

 

Fuck, this was too much.

 

"Let's get you drunk," Bucky uttered and walked back to Tony, with Steve following by his side.

 

"Stark, give us a bottle," Bucky proclaimed at Tony, who so not subtly winked, but gave him a bottle of fucking vodka. _Jesus, this was going to be a long night_ , Bucky thought.

 

Bucky went out of the doors, leaving the party, and Steve, with a confused expression still followed him. He must've figured out where Bucky was taking him since he widened his step and got ahead of Bucky.

 

They arrived to the tree, Bucky sat underneath it, leaned his back at the trunk and patted at the ground next to him, "C'mon. You said you wanted to get drunk, haven't you?"

 

Steve sat next to him, took a bottle from Bucky and took a sip, followed by a surprised sound, "This is good."

 

"Got a list with you?" Bucky took the bottle back and drinked a bit more.

 

Steve handed him the paper and Bucky crossed out attending a party and getting drunk. "You wanna light a cig?"

 

"Sure, why not?" Steve spoke in low voice and positioned himself closer to Bucky.

 

Bucky grabbed a pack of cigarettes out of his pants pocket and Steve looked shocked, "Didn't know you smoked."

 

"I don't," Bucky replied, "I just have it. Because I smoked when I was with my friends."

 

"You never speak about them," Steve took one cigarette out of a pack, put it in his mouth and Bucky lighted it, with a dumb chuckle coming out of his mouth.

 

Steve inhaled and coughed, clearing the air before his eyes with histerical waving of a hand.

 

"Gimme that," Bucky let out a hoarse laugh and took the cig out of Steve's hand, "You know, you don't have to do any of this if you don't like it."

 

"I wanna live," Steve muttered and sipped more vodka out of a bottle, "I never got enough when I was younger. Now, I wanna llive, Buck."

 

"You dumb punk," Bucky hissed, "Who told you that's living?"

 

They both drinked in silence, their shoulders touching, and watched at the night sky above them. The boys both grew up in Brooklyn and neither of them got a chance to see the stars at night often. This was nice, Bucky decided, he could get used to this.

 

They were both drunk by the time Steve decided to answer, "Everyone told me that. Living is about having fun, isn't it?"

 

"What-," Bucky spitted, "That's not-. Steve," He touched Steve's jaw with his thumb and they stared directly at each other, "My friends do all of those things and they ain't living. They are pathetic and dumb and they think they're always having fun, but they ain't. You know what is fun?" Steve's eyes got wide with curiosity, "Fun is sitting here with you and not talking. Or that time you drew me? That was fun?

 

"When you wake up, you'll have a terible headache and won't remember a thing and that won't be fun. But if you really want to do the things from that list, we could, Steve. I would do it, all of it, with you, if that's what you really want."

 

Steve drunkenly fell closer and smirked, "Let's go skinny dipping."

 

So they did. They got up and ran away behind the dorms, where the lake was and they got pretty far, where they were sure no one would think to go and Steve held onto Bucky as he was taking his clothes off, first his shirt and then his pants and boxers fell to the ground. Bucky had to bring himself together as he started to take his clothes off and he was smirking at Steve through all of it, made a show out of it just to appear as confident and smug instead of insecure little piece of shit that he is.

 

Bucky took all of his time to stare at Steve while the other boy wasn't looking and he was _gorgeous_ , so fucking gorgeous.

 

They held their hands as they ran towards the water and jumped in, followed with loud fits of laugher and screams of joy and excitement.

 

"Shh, someone might hear us," Steve covered Bucky's mouth with his hand and Bucky trembled and his stomach flustered and his heart was about to jump out of his chest, "I don't wanna that."

 

"What? You scared?" Bucky muffled and licked at Steve's palm. God, he was so shit-faced right now, he probably shouldn't be allowed to be this close to Steve.

 

"You really wanna someone interrupting us?" Steve teased and put his hand down on Bucky's neck.

 

God, Steve was confident when he was drunk, he didn't even blush one time and that made Bucky so much more nervous and excited than he usually is.

 

"Shit," Bucky moaned as he stared at Steve who was slowly swimming around him, with his hand still on Bucky's exposed neck, "Stop moving."

 

"Ayy, alright," He hummed, "I am."

 

Steve shifted once more and then fixed himself right in front of Bucky, stared directly into Bucky's eyes and smiled an genuine, big smile, and Bucky's heart for a moment stopped.

 

They stayed just like that for God knows how long, just staring at each other. Bucky said Steve stealing looks at his lips so he parted them and moaned and he couldn't help looking back at Steve's full, pink ones.

 

"We should get out and get dressed up," Bucky decided because this was becoming too much, fuck, definetely too much, he thought as Steve licked his lips but moved away from him and they silently swam back to the shore and got their clothes back on.

 

He was wet and a little bit cold and a lot nervous and his heart hasn't stopped beating too damn fast, and the way Steve looked at him, God, he _never_ wanted to start analyzing that becuase, is he getting it wrong? He must be getting it wrong, really, how could someone like Steve Rogers _ever_ like him back?

 

He prayed to God he would forget all of this when he woke up.

 

_He didn't._

 

-

 

The thing is, Steve’s forgotten all about the night him and Bucky got drunk and maybe Bucky’s asshole for not telling him what happened but he doesn’t.

 

Really, he’s not going to hell for that one.

 

It’s called self preservation and it’s good for both physical and psychological health, his and Steve’s.

 

So days have passed and Bucky’s got this weird feeling every single time Steve is somewhere near him, which is always, and Steve’s completely and utterly oblivious.

 

Weeks pass and they don’t even mention the list except for that one time when Bucky, Steve, Nat, Tony and Pepper had a karaoke night and Bucky wouldn’t let them leave until it was 3 am, Steve’s just finished singing “R u mine” and Bucky doesn’t think twice about it, he really should have, before making this half asleep group listen to him sing “I wanna be yours”.

 

No one notices it, or at least they pretend they haven’t except Natasha who stares and him like he’s pathetic and desperate and helpless. He is. He really is.

 

So Steve crosses that one from his list and tells Bucky no one knows about it so to not mention anything to anyone.

 

As if he ever would.

 

And June passes, July starts and it’s Steve’s birthday on Fourth of July because why wouldn’t it be, Bucky wasn’t even surprised.

 

So they all get cake and Steve receives a birthday card from his mom Sarah and Bucky knows better than to ask about his dad.

 

“You dumb idiot,” Nat mutters at Bucky’s ear as he watches Steve blow out the candles and he looks endearing and adorable so Bucky’s shamelessly stares with fond grin splitting his face into half.

 

He decides to ignore her and laughs as Steve blows the last candle, “You’re head over heels for him.”

 

“Natalia,” He turns his attention to her, with a death stare and whispers, “shut the fuck up, he could hear you.”

 

She laughs and gracefully waves him off, “Your staring isn’t even romantic, it’s creepy.”

 

“You’re creepy,” he cries as she continues to gaze at his way.

 

-

 

It’s already second half of July and Bucky’s stretched out on his bed, when Steve comes in his room and throws himself on Bucky’s bed, just beside his legs.

 

“Rogers, always nice to see you,” Bruce smiles and looks back at the book he’s reading.

 

“Banner,” Steve replies.

 

Bucky positions himself so they both could properly fit, and Steve lays so his head is next to Bucky’s on his pillow and they are dumbly gazing at each other.

 

“Hey,” Steve smiles and Bucky’s breath stops in his throat.

 

He reasons with himself before smirking, “Stevie.”

 

“I need a place to stay overnight, I’ve been thrown out because you know, friends don’t cockblock each other,” he recited and chuckled, “You know how it is.”

 

“You know, never expected this camp to be full of booze and sex, “ Bucky responded, “This was my parents' way of punishing me.”

 

“Huh,” he for a moment studied Bucky’s face and then shifted closer, “You never talked about your parents before.”

 

Bucky was too concentrated on Steve to turn his head, but he did hear something falling to the ground, muffled swearing and, “I'm outta here,” before Bruce left and closed the door, very loudly.

 

They snorted and Bucky inhaled a deep breath, “Wanna hear a story?”

 

Steve too soon and too fast nodded in agreement, and Bucky began, “Well, you could say I fucked up the end of school year.

 

“It's funny, tho. Cause I did get into NYU, which was my goal, but not into MIT. And my parents dreamed of me going into MIT ever since I was a kid. So there’s that big fat disappointment. And you know, I wasn’t really thinking when I decided to come out. I mean,” Bucky starts pulling his hair afraid that Steve might not accept this side of him, “They are very religious and strict and shit like that, so coming home and telling them I like boys, what was I thinking?” His voice breaks and he has to look away.

 

Steve, _Steve with his perfect baby blue eyes_ cups his jaw with his palm and Bucky trembles and his eyes snap open.

 

“You'll be okay,” he whispers and Bucky holds his breath for a second because he’s not able to do anything else.

 

-

 

That night Steve stays over, sleeps in Bucky’s been and it’s small and they’re too big and Bucky is too aware of every second that passes by, he just tries not to touch Steve but also wants to, wants to so bad but it’s perfect. It’s perfect, the way sometime in the middle of the night Steve’s big hand falls onto Bucky’s waist and Bucky’s face ends up pressed up against Steve’s shoulder.

 

When they wake up next morning they don’t even mention it. Bucky fixes his hair and chuckles, gets up and gets dressed before Steve’s even woken up. When he’s had his teeth brushed and he’s back, Steve’s up on his feet and leaving. And they don’t mention it.

 

They don’t mention lot of things, but Bucky just reassures himself that it’s how friends act around each other and he’s making things up in his head.

 

-

 

Days go by and so do nights and it's already August and all Bucky’s thoughts go back to how in less than a month, he’s going back home where his shitty friends are and his awful parents and maybe he can have a place on his own, but he’ll lose Steve and Natasha and Clint and Sam and Thor and Bruce and even Peggy and Tony and he’s grown to like them, all of them.

 

“Where are you going after this, Stevie?” Bucky asks out of nowhere with Steve spread out on grass. _This is good,_ sunny lazy days like this are _good._

 

“Ugh, what do you mean? Home, college, heaven?” Steve rolls around and is inches away from Bucky, “What you thinking about, Buck?’

 

“I mean, college, punk,” Bucky snorts, “ 'M thinking about life, but not in a dying kind of way. Just, general kind of way.”

 

“NYU, why?” Steve smiles, so bright and fond and Bucky wishes he could kiss that smile off his face, “Where are you going?”

 

“Do you think we could be roommates, share a nice apartment somewhere close to the college? Huh?” Bucky bites inside of his cheek and has to look away.

 

“You going there too? Of course, Buck,” he answers and Bucky is happy, so happy his chest tightens and his stomach flutters.

 

-

 

“Only people who don’t know you and Steve love each other are you and Steve,” Natasha rolls her eyes and glares at Bucky.

 

“It's true, dude,” Clint adds and stretches out, “You guys disgust me.”

 

“C’mon, Tony, help me out?” Bucky pleads and glances up at Tony with hopeful look in his eyes.

 

They are all seated on a table and half of the group still isn’t there yet cause they’re cleaning the dorms.

 

“Barnes, it’s so obvious, you guys are pain in the ass,” Tony smirks and looks at Pepper who nods.

 

Damn, if Pepper agrees, it must be true.

 

It can’t be.

 

Bucky is hopelessly in love with Steve. There, he’s admitted it, but Steve doesn’t like Bucky, not like that.

 

“You’re all acting twelve. And for the record,” Bucky raised his finger in the air, “It’s all very platonic.”

 

“James, honey,” Natasha tapped his back, “Friends act like you do when they are eight. You guys are eighteen. You’re not platonic at all.”

 

She may have had a point. She may have not. But it’s Natasha, she’s always right.

 

-

 

The thing is, their words stuck with Bucky. He couldn’t let go of them and he would go to sleep and think about it again, and he’d wake up and also think about it all over again. He’s always been one to over analyse stuff, ever since he was a toddler.

 

And then, Steve was thrown out of his room once again and who'd he come to if not Bucky? (Maybe Peggy, Bucky thought. They’ve been hanging out a lot recently.)

 

Same scene all over again, Steve entered Bucky’s room and sprawled across his bed and then Bucky came in and raised his eyebrows at Steve who snorted and mentioned something about “cockblocking”.

 

They were alone, Bruce and Thor wandering somewhere around the camp and Bucky just continued making small talk with Steve. He sat on a chair, watched Steve roll all over his bed as it was his and refused to get any closer.

 

“So Tony’s gonna get lucky again, huh?” Bucky smirked. Steve looked obscene on his bed.

 

“Nah, Sam actually. With his pal Riley.” Steve breathed out.

 

“Riley and him? Seriously?” Bucky was honestly surprised, but he was happy about Sam. He was a good guy, kind, always offered some advice. That guy will be a ass kicking psychologist.

 

“Yeah,” Steve let his fingers travel through his blonde hair, “They bonded over the planes, both wanted to be pilots.”

 

They sat in silence staring at each other when Steve got out a piece if paper from his pants pocket. It was the list.

 

Bucky sat next to Steve, who suddenly sat and straightened up, crossing his legs.

 

“I crossed some more things,” Steve’s voice was shaking and he was looking down at his list.

 

“Things?” Bucky asked, and glanced down. “You remembered when we were drunk-“

 

“Yeah, keep looking.” Steve waved his hand, so Bucky shut up.

 

“And you’ve fallen in love. Aw, that’s-“ Bucky stopped and remembered what that means. “So, uh, Peggy?”

 

It was all heart wrecking, really. Bucky’s eyes burned and his chest ached, but he smirked and chuckled and his gaze fell back to Steve.

 

“You.” Steve’s voice cracked and he looked back down, covering his mouth with his palms and muffled, “Sorry.”

 

“I,” Bucky’s eyes flickered and he turned his head to Steve, cupping the side of his face with his trembling palm.

 

Steve covered his palm with his and it stopped trembling, just like that, “Always you, Buck.”

 

Bucky shifted closer and kissed his lips possessively, moaning and melting into a kiss and Steve smiled between his lips. He tasted like chocolate and Gatorade and like Steve. And it was the best taste ever.

 

His hands started traveling all over Steve’s body and they both smiled throughout the kiss, it was sloppy and nice and perfect.

 

Bucky’s eyes snapped open and he moved away but pressed his forehead onto Steve’s.

 

“That was your first kiss, pal?” Steve’s blushing was enough of an answer and Bucky smirked. “Hey, let me teach ya punk ass.”

 

“You keep calling me a punk,” Steve pointed and Bucky couldn’t help but kiss the side of his lips, “But you’re wearing eyeliner and black leather jacket in the summer, jerk.”

 

Bucky theatrically put hand on his heart and sighed, “Punk, my boy, is not the way you dress. It’s the way you think and act.”

 

“ _Your_ boy,” Steve smugly smiled.

 

“I’m so in love with you, Steve, I'mma kiss that smug off your face now.”

 

So he went back for a kiss and they did it slow and gentle and when Steve started moving his hands through Bucky’s hair and messing it up, Bucky bit his lower lip and Steve fucking moaned straight into his mouth. It was all Bucky could ever ask for.

 

And with Steve snuggled up by his side, drooling on his pillow he slept better than he's had in months.

 

-

 

So they crossed two more thing's from Steve's list but one was still left and they wouldn't rush it. Next morning when Bucky ran into Riley during breakfast and offered him a fist bump with a mischievous smirk, saying, "So you and Sam, fun night, huh?", Riley awkwardly accepted fist bump and said, "No idea what you're talking about."

 

"You know, how you threw Steve out of his room so you could have," Bucky grinned, "Privacy."

 

"Still no idea what you're talking about," Riley gave him a confused laugh.

 

"C'mon, man, no shame, we all have hormones," Bucky cried, already guessing that they've been set up by Sam himself.

 

"Hormones..." Riley furrowed his eyebrows. "Oh, hey, there's Sam ovr there."

 

He waved at Sam who winked at Bucky, fully confirming what he's done. And then, there was Tony's smug face behind him, who waved back and motuhed, "You owe us."

 

"I hate these people," Bucky pouted and cringed when Natasha appeared next to him and said, "So first time didn't work so we had to leave you in same bed two times? You stubborn oblivious dorks."

 

-

 

The time flies before their eyes and Bucky doesn't even notice it until it's suddenly August 20th and they have to go back home and find a place and get ready for college. They made a pact among themselves how they'll all stay friends and although Peggy has to go back to England and most of them are attending different colleges, Bucky believes they won't completely fall apart. After all, all these people have been kicking themselves so Bucky and Steve could get their shit together and realise how much they're in love.

 

Him and Steve have found a nice apartment they'll be sharing and Clint and Natasha will be close, just few blocks away.

 

Of course, Bucky has to deal with his parents and snap out of this dream he's been living in, but when at the last day Steve wraps his fingers around Bucky’s forearm and tugs him down so they’re closer to eye level and whispers how much he can't wait to see him again, he knows he'll manage it. Pulling him in, Bucky kisses him; keeping his head held close and they ignore the disgusted cries from their friends, but instead, they all join in a group hug and Tony chants very loudly and Natasha glares at him, but smile's tugging up at the corners of her lips.

 

The second he's home, Bucky's parents greet him with cold "Hello"'s and Bucky doesn't even let himself be beaten up about it, he supresses tears and makes his way to his bedroom, throwing his bags on the floor and one nicely folded paper falls out and when Bucky opens it, it was the drawning Steve did of him on the beginning of the summer. It helped him to get his shit together and later at one of their silent dinners, he announced how he's found himself a place to stay with a roommate he's met at the camp and they act supportive, his mom constantly kicking his father's elbow to remind him how to act and Bucky appreciates it.

 

They promise to send him out money, the amount is nothing to what they could give him but it's enough.

 

His father asks him if he's come to his senses and realised how he's been slightly confused and he does not have a mental illness and he's not gay, which Bucky bravely ignores and doesn't break down and he's proud of himself and can't wait to see Steve again.

 

Steve does his best to not mention his mom who is a supportive kind of parent, one which Bucky would kill for, and Bucky appreciates the gesture.

 

And when the day finally comes and Bucky and Steve do move in together, it's like a dream once again. Their friends do best to gather up together as often as possible, Tony doing his to invite them all to his place where they hang out and they Skype with Peggy from England and Thor from Norway.

 

It's not perfect, but it's the best it can be and that's enough. They've crossed all of the things from Steve's list and one night, Steve admits him he realizes now that accomplishing those things he's written for himself is not all that matters and there's more to living, such as waking up with Bucky groaning and pouting becaus " _Steve, I wanna stay in bed forever and not attend life or college_ ," but he's glad he's had Bucky to be with him throughout all of that and _til the end of the line._


End file.
